Bootler"s Yearly Random (But Interesting) Fact

7-Up was origanally named Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda.

Monday, October 22, 2007

EMO by Oz Rembrandt

My name’s Oz Rembrandt, and I’d like to point out before you read this article, which I have tried to write as neutrally as possible, that I do not hate Emo music or it’s subculture, having been a fan of many of the below mentioned bands for many years. I know my words won’t appeal to everyone, but hey, it’s just one mans view.


Emo… The word repels people, makes or breaks a bands potential success and has created one of the most controversial and misunderstood subcultures of our generation. But what does it all mean? Where did it come from? In short: What is Emo?

Many will argue that Emo music is merely a form of rock music characterised by negative lyrics about girls, heartbreak and social alienation… but hey, if that’s true, then what band isn’t Emo? The Police, Reel Big Fish, Black Sabbath, all have written songs in the past about such themes, because they’re common place to everyone, and especially teenagers, so what is it that sets Emo apart as a whole new branch of angst ridden rock?

Emo is short for Emotional Hardcore, and is a musical movement that in fact dates back to the early 1980’s, way before bands like My Chemical Romance had even begun to think about talking, let alone singing. Back then, the term Emo, or even Emotional Hardcore, wasn’t even bounced around. Back in the high days of the DC Hardcore Punk Rock movement of the early 80’s, a genre was already beginning to take the aggression of the Hardcore, but in an effort to escape conformity, they were moving away from the political and social themes in Hardcore, and focusing more on their own thoughts, feelings and experiences, albeit in a very, VERY, angry way. It was these bands (Nation of Ulysses, Shudder to Think, Rites of Spring), along with the DC record label Dischord Records that allowed them some minor exposure, which would cause the foundations of band’s sounds to come. Most of the bands of this time where running along side the Post Hardcore scene developed by Fugazi, and the two fledgling genres were very intertwined at the time.

The real beginnings of the future pop friendly sound of Emo came from the Pop-Punk revolution of the California Bay Area. Bands like Jawbreaker began to incorporate the heavy and emotionally raw sound of the DC scene with the pop and hook filled sounds of the Pop-Punk sound. The style quickly became referred to as Melodic Hardcore, due to the familiar speed and riffs of the earlier Hardcore movement, as well as the melodies and tuneful nature of the California Bay Area. It was around this time, on the back on the angst fuelled Grunge movement that Emo finally began to take shape, riding to stardom just under more Punk bands such as Green Day, NOFX and Lagwagon. It was now that bands such as Sunny Day Real Estate and Jimmy Eat World began their slow ascent to Emo stardom, fusing the typical duel guitar sounds and emotionally passionate lyrics with the hugely popular pop-punk sound.

The most widely considered generation of the modern Emo sound is often attributed, surprisingly, to geek rockers Weezer’s second album, Pinkerton. Their use of catchy melodies, as well as downright depressive lyrics about unrequited love, parental hatred and other frustrations was far more “heart-on-sleeve” than many similar bands had dared to go at that time. Their sound set the benchmark for the Emo bands to come in the mid to late 1990’s. Unfortunately for fans of such Weezer-esque Indie Emo, the movement was short lived, generally dying out toward the new millennium…


So, the few bands that had remained from this melodic, heartfelt movement had to adapt or break. Bands such as Jimmy Eat World quickly began to move toward a more pop-punk sound to try and avoid the stereotype that was beginning to float around amongst the media: Emo. The term had finally started to make itself known, and it almost instantly generated a negative attitude towards bands. As the decade has progressed, bands have gradually evolved to fit this growing musical niche. Dashboard Confessional, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy all began to develop a sound not dissimilar to Pop-Punk, but far heavier and darker thematically. By this time though, it was hard to pin the dyed black tail on the Emo donkey. Bands such as Alkaline Trio and AFI were emerging, stringing lyrics of despair, misery and abject loneliness (as well as in Alkaline Trio’s case, anger, vengeance and alcoholism), with a sound reminiscent of early 1990’s punk rock and pop-punk movement. They bore all the similar hallmarks of Emo, but with more of a focus on bitterness than whininess. Understandably, the bands are now hailed by many modern Emo bands as being major influences, despite the fact that their initial sound doesn’t really relate to those of bands today, but the dark and theatrical approach to music has inspired generations to do the same, albeit a little more emotional. Hence, the modern Emo bands are formed. The ones we love to hate. In some cases.

Now comes the question… what characterises an Emo band’s sound? This can cause some confusion also, as the line between Emo and Post Hardcore is often blatantly ignored by many critics. Emo is characterised by a much more pop-orientated sound than post hardcore, with much more coherent lyrics. The 2 genres do share a use of harsh or screaming vocals as an outlet of emotion, as well as a great use of double guitar riffs in an almost metal style. Bellow is a list arranged as best as I can manage (You can’t please everyone) of Emo and Post Hardcore bands, notable and/or listen-worthy: EMO: My Chemical Romance, Taking Back Sunday, Fall Out Boy, Dashboard Confessional, Something Corporate, Thursday, The Starting Line, Thrice, Finch and Funeral For a Friend (At new album). POST HARDCORE: Hell is for Heroes, Reuben, Million Dead, Hot Water Music, This Girl, Far, Engerica and Funeral for a Friend (The first 2 albums).


Possibly more than the music that has spawned it though, the most controversial factor featuring in Emo is the scene that accompanies in: The fans, the practices and the styles. I’m sure everyone knows what the general Emo kid looks like (Google it, if you don’t), so I won’t go into the clothing style to much. Generally tight jeans, band badges, bad haircuts and gothic related characters, without of the rest of the Goth subculture. And, of course, a great love of Nightmare Before Christmas. These teens are predominantly portrayed in the media as being miserable, mopey and suicidal individuals who are deliberately miserable, despite a fairly good life. But lets look at it a moment. Aren’t many teenagers angsty, rebellious and depressive at some stage of their development to adulthood? Of course they are, and Emo teens are no different, they’ve just received a label that makes them more “susceptible” to this behaviour. I’ve got a lot of Emo friends, and many are bright, cheerful people, who get the odd down period, just like anyone else. Self harm isn’t at all that common place, suicide attempts aren’t weekly, and they have plenty of friends. As with many stereotypes, it’s the few who have cemented the fate and view of the many. So, I ask you, next time you see some kid and think “what an Emo cunt”, think in your head, sure, they look like that now, but what’s to say they aren’t intelligent individuals. I mean, they’ll all grow out of it in the end.



Oz Rembrandt

Sunday, October 21, 2007

LAZY TOWN: What Lies Beneath



“Go! Go! Go! Get up Lazy Town!,” the song’s lyrics enthusiastically invites us, and then prevent us: “Things are upside down here in Lazy Town,” which is a statement we’re determined to follow and analyze for we think that line keeps a vast truth underneath.

The colorful frenzied show teaches kids how to consume their energies by jumping, running, doing sports instead of staying at home on the computer. But you don’t have to sweat a lot to realize Lazy Town and Pedo Town could be one and only one place. It’s just a matter of reading between the lines. Or jumping between the cathodic lines of your TV screen.

Let’s say it at once, Lazy Town is the dream town for pederasts: There are no parents or adult guards to be seen – other than a cretin major and an old woman, both literally and metaphorically, puppets – but plenty of playful kids in colorful flashy clothes all around. Stephanie, the only ‘human’ little girl is also designed to be a pervs dream: 13 , pink-dressed, whimsy hot pink wig and quite an elastic and enthusiastic dancer.

And the main adult roles – the hero and the villain – end up being opposite sides of the same coin. They both share the interest of being involved and surrounded by kids.

Robbie Rotten – the villain – is the ‘mean pederast’. He apparently hates children, but that’s merely a manifestation of jealousy to his fellow men. Rotten is a grown up child himself. Angry, jealous, spoiled, candy-lover, lazy, but in the end, a child in the body of an adult. He has the habit of voyeurism and after practicing it a bit, he always turns to his collection of attractive fancy costumes in order to penetrate (no pun intended) into the group of children going unnoticed. And of course, children in Lazy Town are written to fall into Robbie’s deceits with extreme easiness once and again. Rotten is the classic pervert that attracts children by pretending to be a funny attractive playful figure that brings desirable toys to them.

On the opposite extreme we have Sportacus. As Robbie Rotten, Sportacus is also a grown up kid. He talks to them as if he were their best friend and is always very careful to show not even a gram of anger towards them, avoiding this way to be seen as an adult authority in spite of his teacher status. He lives in an ultra-aseptic floating house filled with toy-shaped devices and all kind of sport articles. He’s the nice kid: eats only vegetables and goes to bed at 8 pm. His goal - as Robbie Rotten’s - is to be surrounded by kids. But his approach - opposite to Robbie’s - is to be open, “honest” and friendly. He uses his acrobatics to be the center of attention. This way he makes his muscular body both an object of “eye-sports-candy” admiration and an aspirational goal for children. Sportacus is meant to be the kind of pederast that lives so immerse in his own child-fantasy he doesn’t even assume his condition. Most of time he gets dragged inside his own fantasy and ends up really thinking he IS this kind-hearted ultra-naive impressive children’s superhero.

At then end of every episode, Stephanie in her innocent-pink dress and Sportacus end up dancing together a silly happy song meant to make us enjoy what we are seeing and forgetting the dark implications hidden all over this fantasy town. In their dance there’s always body-to-body steps and leg-spreading movements. And the song - amusingly called “Bing BANG” whose lyrics once again remind us subliminally the message: “Bing Bang Dig-a-rig-a-dong” are described to us as “Silly words that can mean anything”. While dancing with Sportacus, Stephanie invites kids to “go up up, do the jump”. Concluding that “having fun is what it's all about”.

Sports candy sounds like a sweet thing, don’t you think?

Friday, October 19, 2007

Arctic’s Mars Attacks

Our great forum member, Arctic Monkey, wanted to write to the Burtonites Blog about Mars Attacks!, so here it goes, completely unedited, original review from Arctic Monkey. Are you ready?

Arctic’s Mars Attacks


Mostly acclaimed as Burton’s second worst movie and a flop, Mars Attacks was the movie that me made fall really into Burton’s universe. A ode to the old fast canceled Topp’s card and 50’s SF B-movies, Burton opens his big trickbox and let it go on the audience.


Nag nag, nag

Of course there are Alien’s in a SF movie, this ones even beat Alien out the selftiteld movie. Are they good for schocks or thrills? None of both, there just green little stupid things that only live for killing. Why only for killing? God knows why, maybe we can make it up out there Nag, nag, Nag words. But then real powers are the ultra B-film looks and effects. It all looks perfect but Burton didn’t forget to keep the B-film vide alive. Mostly through the already said cliches through some serious weird persons like Jack Nicholson plays a second part as a casino owner how wants to make money out of the Martian’s/Alien’s arrival not knowing there only here to destroy the planet. A other great thing about the movie is to see much well know actors in big or small rolls. Like Jack Black’s appearance as Richie’s brother how get killed, and Michal J Fox in one of his few moments on screen in the mid and later 90’s and of course Mister Tom Jones. In the bigger rolls we see old blackaxption-girl Pam Gier and the later becoming superstar Natahlie Portman. But four actors and make the first part of the movie. Jack Nicholson in a crazy double part as president of the United States and the casino owner. Pierce Brosnan that just did his first james bond movie makes fun out him as British professor how doesn’t know a thing about Alien’s but just try to translate them. And then there is Danny DeVito gambler how want’s to make a deal whit the Alien’s. Glenn Close as cold Ms.President which only thinks for herself.


The change

In the middle of the movie the Alien’s have destroyed most of the adult persons and only Richie, a role by Lukas Haas, and the daughter of the president ,which is played by Natahlie Portman, are alive. Also Danny DeVito is still alive. Richie rescued his grandam from the older people house and is whit Tom Jones and Natahlie Portman’s character trying to find out a way to kill the aliens. A old lp whit jodel-rock(?) blows all the aliens heads up when they hear it and at the end it’s a destroyed city/world whit only Lukas Haas, grandma, Portman and some other on-credit people alive. And then the screen goes black.


Arctic’s critic

Mars attacks is my fourth favorite Burton movie, not a classic tearjerker as Edward or a haunting horror as Hollow but one of the most loving parodies ever made. Of course there are better ones(Top Secret and the Monty Phyton’s movies) but still it hasn’t has one bad or old joke. It’s all-star cast made it still wonder why it wasn’t a major box-office hit, maybe it was a bit to wicked for the cinema people. But it has regain his glory as cult-classic and Hollow was again a box-office success. But if Burton didn’t made this movie it will be never made, and that will hurt my heart.


Nag Nag Nag Part 2

The power of the movie sits in the sadists green fellows mostly labeled in the movie as Martian/aliens. No Ridely Scot Alien alien’s but cartoon like green fellows. Still they have the most horrible laugh ever. The Martians are just like people in the 50’s thought about life in other space. Sadistic green creatures that are only out for killing and destroying planets. Now we know better but lucky a lot of Alien story’s are left. There clothing style is also horrible but just does it for them. They aren’t smatter then people, to be said there lot stupider then most people and have the most playlike guns ever. They aren’t like most haunting alien’s but more some crazy loonaticks escaped from the weirdest zoo in the universe. Maybe people don’t like this kind of Martians to watch at the cinema, mostly they want cool scary aliens but Burton had a major budget and of course his own imagination and thought of these crazy guys. Lucky he did, otherwise it would be just another Hollywood alien movie. It’s quit easy if you see them at the first time to know there planning to destroy then world. And there trying it. There dead also has no shocking of scary thing. There just funny, just like the green fellows. Love live the Martians!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

a view on art from the past.

An estonian author called Eduard Vilde, who lived from 1865 to 1933, wrote a book in 1912 called The Uncatchable Miracle ("Tabamata Ime"). Though it may seem like a long time ago, reading that book today (if you can get it in your hands in English) may surprise you: how modern, how up-to-date, how universal. Maybe others won´t see it, but you will - as an artist. Cause this book tells us about an artist still seeking for a breakthrough, but sadly doing many wrong things in its name. It also raises many philosophical questions about the field of arts in general and a creators position in a society.

Leo Saalep, a piano player, returns home from the Grand Europe - home, thats a frog pond, a tiny country with limited chances to stand out or become a big star. In someone else´s case it may be a small town inside a big region inside a huge country, a clique community inside a metropolis, anything, which sets borders to a growing artist. Leo brings with him the echo of praise and ovations from the European audience - he is an instant object of admiration - and big, big, BIG expectations towards his upcoming concert in the home land. Everybody is expecting him to be The One, that big name to bring the tiny, unimportant (and at 1912 not yet independent) country on the map of the world. No, they want more - they need, they want to call him an artistic genius.
Do you remember how the lights seemed to black out, when you had to read a poem on a school concert in front of all the two dozen relatives expecting you to turn into a child star with the power of their minds? Would you die of fear if you had to show your portfolio in front of examination committee of a really high-class art school?
Although I think burtonite nerves are from a different class and not much to worry about when it comes to talent you can at least imagine that situation. Thats how Leo was feeling, and he made several attempts to cancel the concert. He was just not sure he could raise to the occasion, but he pressed these feelings down, he had a desperate desire to be what the others wanted him to be. "Believe in me! Lend me your strength!", he said. Maybe thats the only obstacle that does not allow Leo to doubt himself and thus become truly a great artist who can rely only on his own self.

For Leo Saalep, things are made worse by an especially eager "communicator", his free-marriage spouse Lilli, who has promoted his talents maybe more than would have been reasonable. How often is that the case really in the field of arts, that the communicators - agents, curators, managers or just the cultural establishment you work for, a film company, a theater, a dance group - are doing a bit TOO much for the artist or actor or musicians, which prevents those to be themselves and build a relationship of trust, understanding and FAIR expectations with the audience? They will be like products of the communicator, not individuals... But.... those nasty people are there for a reason, you know. They have a different position in the society than a singular artist, they are institutions, that don´t just present singular talents, but form a school of thought, a way to look at things and have a great influence to public opinion, which very rare artists can have all by themselves.

Leo Saalep was very much absorbed by a low self image, and if not for Lilli, who was constantly pushing him, reassuring him, he would not have worked at all. But being concerned about "making it", receiving praise, Leo forgot about inner development as an artist, listening to his inner voice and self criticism, and his music lacked the meaning, the message - that one thing thats YOURS and that no communicator or critic can alter or take away. Leos ex-lover Eve did not hear that miracle, that spark in his performance, but she had once been an aspiring poet who stopped writing cause she felt her poetry wasn´t good enough. It does raise a question of her objectivity - could she have been envious? Lilli perhaps felt the same from the very beginning, but was too ambitious to admit it, she, for one, tried to fulfill her own artistic ambitions and dreams through somebody else, plus she hoped to marry Leo and become a "famous pianists´wife". Only a personal conflict sparked her to speak out. Lilli revealed Leo had done many things just as a publicity trick, he had forged magazine articles and hid the sources of the assumed praise he got in foreign capitals.

Vilde doesn´t really judge or put down any of his characters. Who IS right, really? Which one of them failed in their task? Did Lilli´s outburst contain any truth, or was she just getting even with estranged housband? Can anyone actually confirm Leo DOESN´ T have any talent? Did he just do what any artist would do to succeed? The communicator, a voice of a muse, had spoken, she had come down on him with fury and a note of disappointment, and the people believed her rather than the artist, because the artist had not really stood up for himself ever before. They already knew he was a weak, paranoid person, but that doesn´t mean he was a hopeless musician, does it?
Or did Leo really just heartlessly use his faithful muse to be somebody, to become a star having himself only a mediocre talent and no distinctively original qualities? Who IS the manipulator, who exactly is messing with the audiences´ minds? The artist, or the communicator? Or is it that the particular audience really was that stupid and they deserved to be fooled and fed with "non-art", cause they wont be able to tell the difference? (which is what I personally find most likely in this story, cause Vilde wrote the play partly to mock and poor out his disappointment at the critics and media of that time, who were absorbed in self- admiration and their own fine words more than searching for the true meanings in art ).
The concert itself is not described in the book, other than through the words of the Mass, the Crowd and some over-the-top cultural wannabes, and we can not tell if they know the criteria for a good or bad performance or just bluff their way through the conversation. Even in stage plays based on this text you would not find out anything more. And that is why people still interpret the story just as hopelessly, shooting blanks at different theories almost a hundred years later.
There is a DVD with 6 short flicks, named "The Untouchable Miracle" ("Tabamata Ime") that should be available in cinemas that are part of the European Cinematic Network . The pack of films is done on extremely low budget by young directors and using the same actors in all films, but playing different roles (which actually benefits the idea very much). In one of them Leo is turned into a shock artist sawing off his arm on an art performance, depicting the irrational assumption art has to cross limits while no one knows where the damn those limits are.
But what else is left to do, if the media is no longer interested in true artist, but fashion-designing singers and singing models and painting bank managers etc etc.? Or is it that drastic really... who will help us decide?
The truth is out there, I am sure. The best thing to do NOW is what you do best. Lets hope thats ALL it takes.

Sincerely,
from Redfox.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Halloween Costume Contest!

The details for TBC Halloweenfest's Halloween Costume Contest are now up at our forum: http://www.timburtoncollective.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=6887

Last year the contest was a smashing success, and there were many interesting entries. Here are some of the best ones:





Pictured from top to bottom: sands*, Fuzzy Duck, Ev1l_H0PsC0TcH.

Our Halloween Costume Contest host, sands*, graciously answered a few interview questions for the Burtonite Blog.

Burtonites Blog: sands*, how does it feel to host the costume contest again?

sands*: Awesome. Its the second time I do it. But I do feel a bit embarrassed for winning last year when I was hosting.

BB: You seem to be a costume person, what about Halloween costumes fascinates you so?

sands: You get to be someone different for a day. That's always fun. Life is boring sometimes. Its the only day in the year when you can dress up and no one will make fun of you. Plus, no one would recognize you either... good time to play some pranks.

BB: You think we will have a lot of shocking surprises in this years contest?

sands: I hope so. Last year there was a good number of people that entered. But my goal this year is to have many more. Also, I believe the prizes are going to be much better.

BB: Any inspirational words for all the aspiring costume contest entrants out there?

sands: Just have fun. We're between friends here. So don't be shy and enter the contest! You wont regret it.

BB: Thank you for your time sands*, we let you back to your Duckman now.

sands: Mmm, Duckman. Thanks, I love the Burtonites Blog!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

TBC Halloweenfest 2007!


Halloween is creeping closer and closer. This year our annual Halloweenfest will be be a bit more moderate event that last years ultimate freak-out. We will be concentrating on a few key events, which will namely be:

The Golden Bortons 2007 (The 2nd Annual TBC Film Festival)
- You still have a little time to submit your movie entries, or enter as a judge, read more details about it in this topic:
http://www.timburtoncollective.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=6684

We are expecting to have at least 2 times more movies than last year, so the competition will be tough. And of course all of you Burtonites will be able to see these movies, discuss about them, and perhaps ask questions from the filmmakers during the Halloweenfest!

TBC Halloween Costume Contest
- The Halloween Costume Contest is back, better and bigger than ever. You just need a costume and some picture(s) of it to enter the contest, you can read more details about it in the Costume Contest Topic which should be up shortly.

TBC Halloweenfest Signature & Avatar Contest
- Simply: The best signature & avatar used during the Halloweenfest, all Burtonites can vote on the entries.

A yet undefined Mystery Contest
- More details to come later!

The TBC HalloweenFest 2007 will take place on October 24 – October 31, with many contests concluding on November as well.



Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Burtonite Filmmaker Interviews, part III: Kevin Schreck (Fuzzy Duck)

An Interview with Kevin Schreck
By Michael Smith
October 7th, 2007

Kevin Schreck (a.k.a, Fuzzy Duck, on the Tim Burton Collective) has been a filmmaker for years. His stop-motion animated satire, An Interview with Death, was a Golden Borton Award Winner in 2006. In this interview, the filmmaker talks about his interest in working on various genres of films, working from documentaries to animation simultaneously, and sometimes accidentally bringing out his own personality in the characters he’s created…

Michael Smith: When did you first start making movies?

Kevin Schreck: When I was ten years old, I felt compelled to try messing around with my dad's camcorder. The first couple of films I made involved two puppets, a mallard duck, named Fuzzy Duck, and a hippopotamus, named Billy Bob. The short movies were about ten minutes in length, each scene shot in sequence (since I didn't have any computer programs for movie editing and since it was an 8 mm camera, I believe), and had some music cues, props, etc. I supplied both characters with their movements and voices from beneath a table. I made about four of these movies, I think, adding new characters along the way and drawing them a lot. When I was 11, I received a computer program called "Lego Studios," which allowed you to make stop-motion or live-action short movies. I tinkered around again with the puppets and with some "Simpsons" action figures and toy dinosaurs and such.

MS: When did you realize filmmaking was the career you wanted to pursue?

KS: I'm not entirely certain when that moment was. I guess it became a conscious realization after making the stop-motion experiments on "Lego Studios." I had tried out a lot of forms of art, like drawing, photography, music, acting, and more. But none really fully captivated me (except for drawing). I guess, subconsciously, I felt that film encompassed all of those forms of art for one big project to tell a story.

MS: What filmmakers do you admire the most?

KS: Tim Burton is the big one for me. I really admire his work because he is able to work in so many different kinds of genres and styles and still leave that unique, personal touch to them. Stanley Kubrick is another one. Again, he really was able to work with various genres and still speak very profoundly and convey his own artistic styles and techniques. Others that I really like are Alfred Hitchcock, Michael Moore, Sergio Leone, and Ed Wood. So a lot of different filmmakers with different styles, who worked with different genres, and came from different eras.

MS: Would you like to work in several genres, like the directors you mentioned? Or is there a certain type of film you'd like to be making?

KS: Working in several different genres appeals to me the most. I'd feel a little confined to just one genre. I mean, there are some directors who really defined and even revolutionized the genres they worked in. But for me, personally, I like embracing an eclectic taste. I think being able to tell stories in different ways, with different atmospheres and issues and such, is very appealing. There's so much to do. Different mediums of filmmaking, too, from live-action narratives to documentaries to animated films.

MS: What's your favorite film that you've made?

KS: Probably An Interview with Death. That was a real labor of love. Almost two years of my life went into making that film, so, in order to complete that project, on practically no budget and with things like school going on, that was a big feat, and I had to be really into it and dedicated to it. Plus, I love the medium of stop-motion animation. It's such an organic, tangible style.

MS: Where did the idea for An Interview with Death come from?

KS: Well, I went to Interlochen Arts Camp when I was fourteen. I went there for musical theater, but my favorite class was my elective, sculpture. It turned out the teacher, Jason Johnston, had worked with stop-motion before, and he said he'd be willing to help me make the armatures I'd need for the puppets for a film, if I wanted to. This was the first time I actually had the opportunity to try out stop-motion and construct my own characters and such, which I had been drawing a lot, and I only had four weeks to do it. Although I had worked with stop-motion before, I was still a novice, so I wanted to avoid more difficult things like walk cycles. Seeing how walk cycles would be tricky, I decided that an interview structure would be best, by having all of the characters sit down, and tell a story.


Kevin Schreck with the cast of An Interview with Death (2006).


MS: An Interview with Death is almost completely character-driven, centering on four eccentric personalities. Were these characters your creations, or was it a collaboration between you and the actors?

KS: I had the general design of the characters for a while. They consisted of Fuzzy Duck, this girl with a beret, a guy in a regular sort of corporate employee look but with a brown paper bag over his head, and the Grim Reaper. So they were really sort of one-dimensional before production began. I showed the actors, Laura, Bill, and Brendan, some sketches and the puppets (which weren't even finished yet), just to give them a vague idea of who they were playing. I had them sit in a chair, let the camera roll for about thirty to forty minutes and had them just improvise their material. I did the same with myself for Fuzzy Duck (though I was going to be the paper-bag guy, John Jackson, before I got Brendan). They came up with some really funny material, but I had to choose only the best, most important material (only about two or three minutes a piece, at most) to use, since the animation would be so laborious and time-consuming. After the movie was finished, there was this weird, circular feeling to how the characters had developed. Even though the actors really brought them to life, I found some traits in myself in the characters. I guess those originate more from the drawings.

MS: Fuzzy Duck seems to appear from time to time throughout your work. Do you plan on reusing any of the other characters?

KS: Possibly. I'd like to come up with some more characters some time. I love the ones I have, but it's good to keep drawing, observing strange, funny things, and sort of personalizing them. I guess Fuzzy Duck comes up the most because I relate to him most. He's this short, odd, kind of angry guy who just seems to vent about a lot of messed-up things in the world. I'm not usually that easily enraged or irritated, but I like those characters that are aware of those little annoyances in the world. It's cathartic to bring your own quirks out with a character. Also, I like ducks; they're my favorite animal. My very first drawing was of a duck, so that's a personal thing for me. Lula (the girl with the beret) is interesting, too. She sort of is a tribute, as well as a parody, of modern liberalism. But it's kind of hard writing for a female character, being male. It's good to work with what you know (even though I'm not a duck).

MS: What led you to make Dear Leader: Mr. Kim?

KS: I had begun the drawings and making the puppets for Interview in the summer of 2004. But then school came along, and I had to focus on my grades and classes. Also, I didn't have the technology for Interview so I had to put it on hiatus. But I still wanted to make a movie. Luckily, I found out that my history class was going to have this big, technological project for the whole second semester. The project would be focused on a contemporary world conflict, and that was all I knew. Making a movie was an option, so I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to be able to make a movie while simultaneously contributing to my classes and schoolwork. So I decided on making a documentary on North Korea, and the dictator of the country, Kim Jong-Il. I started the movie in the fall, reading about a dozen books on the subject. It's such a fascinating situation; it's really the only place left in the world with that sort of communist regime. And Kim Jong-Il is such a weird, mysterious character. He's like some sort of Hollywood super-villain.

MS: I often find it easier to complete a film when it's for a project or a festival (i.e., the Golden Borton Awards) because you have a deadline that spurs you on. Do you feel the same way?

KS: I guess so. I think having a certain amount of pressure like a deadline is really motivating, or else you may not finish a project. It can be hectic, but that's part of the process of filmmaking. I had a deadline for Dear Leader: Mr. Kim more than on Interview, which was more of a personal goal of mine. So I've kind of worked with both. I guess I'd have to try it out more to find out what works best for me. It can be a hindrance, too, though, but you learn from your mistakes.


A drawing of Fuzzy Duck meeting his doom for An Interview with Death (2006).


MS: You seem to enjoy animation, from your drawings to your film, An Interview with Death. Do you have any plans for future animated films?

KS: Nothing official as of the moment. I've been messing around a bit with an idea called Fuzzy Duck Goes Hawaiian. I'd like it to be a cel-animated film, kind of like the old shorts from the 1930s and 1940s from Warner Bros. The technology would certainly not be the same, but I'd like to capture that sort of energy to it: the manic energy, the character expressions and movement, the artistry of those films in general. I don't really have a synopsis of the film. I just like the idea of putting my character, Fuzzy Duck, in a setting like Hawaii, with the stereotypical music and such. It's a very different place from anywhere else I've been, so that'd be fun to try out.

MS: Any plans for future projects in general?

KS: Again, nothing official as of now. I wrote a screenplay last year, though. It's not completed, but it's a comedy about these two poor, middle-aged guys who live on the St. Croix River between Minnesota and Wisconsin and enter a local fishing competition for a cash prize. I don't know whether it'd be a feature-length film or a short, but I hope to do it someday. I'd need actors, though. Another idea is a documentary on the issue of creationism/intelligent design vs. evolution. That's a debate that's really interested me. There's this multi-million dollar Creation museum that opened in Kentucky this year. I'd love to check it out...

MS: Any inspirational words for all the other indie filmmakers out there?

KS: Don't be afraid to go out there with just a camera and make something. I know I'm not the only one, or the first one, to say this, but really, if you have creativity, motivation, and a camera, that's really all you need. Don't allow issues like budgets or transportations or actors (or a lack thereof) to stop you from expressing your ideas and making something that you think is important, something that you think would be entertaining, or something that you think would just be a lot of fun to make. The best way to get into filmmaking is simply by making films.

MS: Thanks for your time, Kevin.

KS: No problem, Michael. Thank you very much.

Auditioning 101

It’s that time of the year again, children. A time when most theatres have held or are holding their auditions. Before you step out on that stage and promote yourself, there are a few tips you should know. The following is taken from an outline I had when doing a speech on “How to Prepare for an Audition” (with added guidance from a professional actor I knew from the summer). With his help, I present to you, some basic auditioning “do’s” and “don’ts”;


Do:

- Have an organized resume. By stating the show, your role, and the city/theatre company, the director can tell what you have for experience. Point out note-worthy productions (either with a co-actor, director, producer, or theatre company) or parts you feel especially proud of. Even if you have little credits, your talent and preparedness for the audition will assist you greatly.
(The resume layout looks like the following: show name, role (include understudy roles as well in parenthesis followed by the indicator U/S. eg. Man of La Mancha - Barber (U/S Sancho) - Foothills Theatre) and Theatre Company/City).


Do not:

- Exaggerate on your resume. Lying is the number one way to not be taken seriously.


Do:

- Have a current headshot. It is important that the same actor they see on the picture is the same actor walking through the door. Most artistic directors prefer both color and black and white. Be sure to get both just in case.

Do not:

- Use the same headshot you’ve had for years.


Do:

- Sing an appropriate song. Even if it is ‘overdone’ (like Defying Gravity from Wicked), if you sing it well and it suits your voice, go for it. Try it out on your friends, family, or voice teacher. If you receive positive feedback, stick with it. Think about the show you’re going for. Is it bright or dark? Will singing “Seerauber Jenny” at your Sound of Music audition really help you land the part of Maria?

Do not:

- Sing an inappropriate song that does not work for your voice or for the show you are auditioning for (as stated above).

Do:

- Research the play and/or musical from where you get your monologue or song choice. If possible, buy yourself a copy of the script or libretto to familiarize yourself with the characters and setting.

Do not:

- Choose a monologue or song because it sounds “pretty” and you think it’ll be easy to learn. Challenge yourself. If all you know is Tennessee Williams try looking up Moliere, or vice versa.
- Simply think that by skimming over the text you’ll have a complete understanding of the play or musical.

Do:

- Practice your song (s) and monologue (s) so you feel confident in performing them. Find pieces that sit naturally with YOU and that you enjoy to sing and/or act.

Do not:

- Feel like you have to be better than any one else. Even though this is a competition you will be judged on how well you interact with others. After all, a cast is a team, isn’t it?

Do:

- Dress appropriately. If you’re going to a dance call, wear lose fitting clothes and dance shoes (jazz shoes for the guys). For the audition wear something formal. Girls; dress pants, nice shoes, and blouse. Boys; nice top, casual pants, and shoes.
- Wear an article of clothing that sets you apart, like a scarf or hair pin that is unique but not entirely distracting. This will help the director remember you as “the girl with the blue ribbon in her hair” rather than the “70th girl wearing a black leotard”. But more importantly, you should be remembered for your performance.


Do not:
- Spend too much time stressing over how you look. (If you follow the above suggestions, you will look fine).
- Come barefoot to a dance call unless otherwise specified.
- Wear a costume or appear slovenly unless the audition requires it.


Do:

- Be on time. Show up ten minutes (or earlier) beforehand so you can fill out an audition form (most theatres will have these), meet with the other actors, and get a feel for the theatre (especially if you have never been there before). Getting an early start will also help you should you suddenly be stuck in a traffic jam. Being an hour ahead is always better than being an hour behind.
- Call the theatre should you become drastically ill. If you cannot make it because of that, let them know so they won’t be expecting you or to reschedule (if it is possible).
- Be courteous. Remember your reputation relies highly on how well you can get on with others. No one wants to work with someone who’s a pain to get along with or causes issues for the other performers!
- Write down everything.
- Read up on the industry. Know who’s who. The more you learn, the more everything will come together so you’ll know all the important who’s what’s and when’s. This will help you establish networks.


Do not:

- Show up late. It’s unprofessional. No excuses!
- Burn a bridge. Treating those around you like garbage will not guarantee you a job any where. Unless you’re established like Patti LuPone, there is no reason why you should be throwing a diva fit if something doesn’t go to your liking.


And finally;

COME PREPARED! Know your lines and your songs! This is by far the easiest yet most often overlooked aspect of the auditioning process. Don’t put off your Shakespearean monologue until the night before. Always give yourself at least a month’s worth of preparation!

Know these tips and know they will guide you as you go from audition to audition. The more you get out there, the better you’ll be!


Break legs, and good luck!
~ Genine

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Burtonite Filmmaker Interviews, part II: Michael Smith (The Martian Ambassador)

An Interview with Michael Smith
Edited by Kevin Schreck
October 7th, 2007

Michael Smith (a.k.a, The Martian Ambassador, on the Tim Burton Collective) has worked on a variety of films. El Chupacabra, his film from last year, was a Golden Borton Award winner, and he is near completing another new film, entitled Two Left. In this interview, the filmmaker talks about themes he sees in his numerous and very different films, his earliest projects, and how to use an idea in a very low-budget, independent movie…

Kevin Schreck: What made you want to get into filmmaking?

Michael Smith: When I was eleven, my parents bought a DV camcorder, and my older brother and I started making these little movies. Evan, my brother, kinda moved on after a while, but I just kept making them. Eventually I realized it was something I'd like to do for a living.

KS: Were there any particular films and/or filmmakers that inspired you early on?

MS: Well, my first movie that I made all on my own, a stop-animation short done with LEGOs called Dino Island, was basically a parody of the Jurassic Park films with spoofs of scenes from The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring cut in, so I guess Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson. Even now, I'd like to make the sort of movies they do.

KS: How would you define or describe those movies they do?

MS: I feel like I'm simplifying their work by lumping their films into one category, but action/adventure films. Stuff like the Indiana Jones movies or Jackson's King Kong, movies that are just fun to watch and still push the limits of filmmaking.

KS: You've certainly done a wide range of film genres and styles: El Chupacabra, The Bus, Rasputin: The Death of the Mad Monk, etc. What do you think those films have in common?

MS: It’s weird, because I just said that I'd like to make action/adventure films, but I really haven't done that many, except for maybe The Bus and Wrong Address. Most of my movies start off with something general that I like, like cryptozoology, or dinosaurs, or Grigori Rasputin. Then I try and find a way to work that into a plot I can film. I guess one of the main things they all have in common, though, is that they don't take themselves seriously at all. They're all pretty lighthearted.

KS: Where did you come up with the idea for El Chupacabra?

MS: William Palacio, who co-writes, co-produces, and acts in most of my films, and I were talking one night and decided we needed to make a really bad, corny horror movie, and immediately chose the chupacabra to be the antagonist. However, like the majority of films we talk about making, it got forgotten as other stuff came up. Then, later that year, in Spanish class at school, our teacher told us that we would have to write and act out a short skit in Spanish. William and I recognized this as our chance to use our chupacabra idea and we convinced our teacher to let us make a movie. When we began writing, though, the style was completely different from what we had originally envisioned.

From Left to Right: Gabe Fry, Michael Smith, William Palacio, and Andrew Jefferson on the set of El Chupacabra (2006).



KS: How was it different from your original conception?

MS: We had first imagined it as an over-the-top splatter-fest with a lot of slapstick. But we ended up writing a much more subtle, noir-ish sort of story.

KS: Your most recent film is called Two Left. What's that about?

MS: It's about three friends who go camping and unwillingly release a demon who's been imprisoned for hundreds of years. The demon, a serial killer in his human life, was sent to Hell, but made a deal with the Devil. If he can harvest six hundred and sixty-six souls within half a century, he'll be free to roam the Earth forever, killing as he pleases. When we meet up with him, he already has six hundred and sixty-four souls, leaving only two left, so it's up to the friends to stop him before he can pay his debt.

KS: What was the origin of this concept?

MS: Well, about a month ago, I got a job at a Halloween store. Most of the time in there it's just standing around (though it's getting much busier now as Halloween approaches). So, I'm walking around the store for hours at a time, looking at all the masks and costumes and thinking, "How could I use these in a movie?" I had the basic plot and most of the dialogue in my head by the end of one workday.


Gage Rollo as Mulo in Two Left (2007).


KS: As of this interview, Two Left is still in production. Which of the two would you say was a more challenging film to make, Chupacabra or Two Left?

MS: Right now I feel Two Left is more difficult, but that might change a few months from now when I can look back on both of them. But Gabe Fry and William, who play the two main characters in Two Left, are on the soccer team now, so they practice every day after school until five. That gives us about an hour to film before it gets too dark, so we really don't have time to do anything other than film. If someone flubs a line or trips walking into a scene, we don't even have time to laugh, we have to pull ourselves together immediately and keep going.

KS: Are you still considering to make sequels of El Chupacabra?

MS: That's a tough question. William and I planned out a trilogy after the first film was completed, and I really like the story we came up with. It explained some of the stranger things from the first film and made the chupacraba into a threat to the whole world. However, I don't really see it happening--I've done the chupacabra, I think I'd rather devote my energy to something else.

KS: Are you planning on any future projects?

MS: I had a holiday movie planned and half-written, but that was before I started Two Left, and I don't know if I'll be able to finish them both by Christmas, which is when I'd like to have the holiday movie completed. It's called Getting into the Spirit, and it's about two elves trying to force a Jewish man to celebrate Christmas.

KS: Where did that idea come from?

MS: I'm not sure, actually. A few months ago Gabe, William, and I showed Wrong Address at our old middle school, and they mentioned that we should try and make something for this Christmas assembly they have every year. I guess that's when I started thinking about it, but I don't know where that specific plot came from.

KS: You have certainly kept yourself busy with a lot of films. What would you suggest to aspiring independent filmmakers?

MS: Don't let a lack of resources stop you from making whatever you want. As long as you have a camera and creativity, there's really nothing you can't do. It may not look exactly how you want it, a CGI giant squid might look better than a the cardboard miniature one you made, but it's all practice for the future. Just have fun with it.

KS: Wise words. Thank you very much, Michael.

MS: And thank you.

Bienvenue -Welcome- Tere Tulemast!

I would add something in hawaiian but I leave it to my dear co-worker Leah.
I just wanted to make an introduction to the arts and entertainment section. If you clicked on our tag by mistake, stay anyway, you are going to get...well, entertained.
This place will hopefully contain news, reviews, conversations and friendly /vicious critique about burtonite artists from all fields of art. If you have a news story to share, please write on the burtoniteblogae@gmail.com email address. We well be happy to tell everyone about your achievements in the field of art. And if you send us photos too, we will even dance from joy!!!! Tapdance, hiphop, ballroom....yes. khmm khmm.
You will be free to present your news or creations under a TBC nickname, but you may consider to reveal your true (artists´) name for art friends all over the world to praise and spread the word about.
It might take some time to get the ball rolling, because artists are tender and vulnerable spirits and we have to choose our words carefully when we edit and post the stories or they will fly away to the moon from us.
Have a very nice time at the whole burtonite blog and check back for some entertaining stories very soon!

Redfox

Monday, October 8, 2007

EMO

Black clothes, pale skin, trademark hair, razor cuts on the skin and a sad expression on the face.

We’re describing the typical emo. Not. We are talking about Edward Scissorhands. Got ya.

So, why do most Burtonites hate emos? Ed could be described as an emo himself. He has all the same characteristics as one. Or even Edward Scissorhands' imperfect alter ego: Mr. Tim Burton. And the same could be said about Burtonites themselves. There’s one reason we’re all here. Its because in the outside world we feel alone.

We had to escape our own realities and find comfort in a place where we knew we would fit in - The Tim Burton Collective.

And yes, its full of emos. Like it or not, you are one. Maybe not in appearance, but emotionally you are. WE are.

Don’t start complaining and saying that you aren’t. You are. Deal with it. How many times have you cried at Edward Scissorhands because you feel identified? How many times have you posted how bad, how alone, how much of an outsider you feel you are? One, two…ten... thousand times?We want to feel loved, so we post about it and hope for a response of that cold outside world they've told us there is beyond out computer screen. That’s what an emo is.

They want to grab attention using that representative image of theirs. Of course, they wear it on the outside for the world to see. On the collective, we can't be seen… but our posts can.

This is not a bad thing. Its just the truth. So the next time you think about calling an emo ‘stupid‘, that’s what you’re calling yourself. And me.

Emoing up the Burtonite way of life,

Don’t & Know
The Timely Procrastinator Team

Burtonite Filmmaker Interviews, part I: J. L. Carrozza (Max Cady)

This is the first of a series of interviews with filmmakers on the Tim Burton Collective. We hope you enjoy these little insights into these talented artists, and look forward to more in the near future!

An Interview with J. L. Carrozza
Edited by Kevin Schreck
October 1st, 2007

J. L. Carrozza (a.k.a, Max Cady, on the Tim Burton Collective) has been making films for years. His film from last year, Little Red Riding Hood, was a big success during last year’s Tim Burton Collective Film Festival, a.k.a, the Golden Borton Awards. Carrozza’s latest film is entitled, Dream House, and will be entered into this year’s Golden Borton Awards, as well. In this interview, the filmmaker talks about the sources of his inspiration, the political allegories in his films, and a few upcoming projects…


Kevin Schreck: First, a rather typical question: What made you interested in filmmaking?

J. L. Carrozza: Well, I was five or six years old and I saw the original Godzilla on VHS, on a six inch TV. I was absolutely captivated by what I saw. I was obsessed with dinosaurs and wanted to be a paleontologist but shortly after I realized I wanted to be a filmmaker and make movies like Ishiro Honda and Eiji Tsuburaya.

KS: What were some of your earliest efforts in filmmaking?

JLC: When I was around nine or ten I grabbed a video camera my family had and started making stop motion movies with Bandai kaiju action figures. I was a big fan of Ray Harryhausen too, you see and yeah, at first I wanted to make movies like his too. My first more serious movie was when I was 14. I got big into violent horror films (much to my parents chagrin) and tried to make a slasher film called Plastic Man about a man possessed by a demonic mask who goes around killing people. However, while I was shooting it I ran down a street chasing a pickup truck. My parents saw it and took my camera away for a year.

KS: So was that project was ever finished?

JLC: Nope. I'd love to find the footage and put it online though.

KS: Horror movies and their influences seem to be a prevalent theme in many of your films. Your latest film, Dream House, involves a haunted house, a prophecy of a rape, and a scene of torture. Why do you think you gravitate to themes like this?

JLC: I'm just a huge horror buff really. I love horror movies that are both beautiful and horrible at the same time, like Matango, Human Lanterns or Mario Bava's movies, to name but a few. That said, I also feel that I make these movies as something of a political statement as well. We live in really violent times and mankind, as whole, has always had a natural inclination toward violent acts.

KS: I'll get back to Dream House in a bit. Your previous film, Little Red Riding Hood, also had a lot of horror themes in it. What made you want to make an adaptation of that story?

JLC: It's always been my favorite Grimm's Fairy Tale and since after I made the awful The Boy Who Cried Wolf I've wanted to make Little Red Riding Hood. My original vision of it was really different, though. Red was going to a Japanese girl and the Wolf was going to actually put her, naked, into a giant pot full of soup, kind of like in Peter Jackson's Bad Taste, and cut carrots into the pot. Then I realized I couldn't make that film, but I still decided on making a really fucked up version full of pedophilia and cannibalism. If could have made my dream version of Little Red Riding Hood, though, I'd have made it a metaphor for Japan/China relations and have Red be a cute little Chinese girl, the Wolf be a Japanese rapist and the Lumberjack be a burly American.

KS: What kind of political allegory, if any, do you find in Dream House?

JLC: There isn't much of a political allegory, but I suppose the young couple could represent America and the rape and rapist could represent 9/11, but that's probably really stretching.

KS: How did you come up with the idea of Dream House? What was the origin of that concept?

JLC: There are two main sources. The idea of a husband and wife moving into a house and weird shit going down is an idea I gleaned from both Fulci's House By the Cemetery and the Shaw Brothers horror film Haunted Tales. The idea of an apparition saving a girl from something horrific is from some urban legend I heard of a girl being saved from a rapist on the street by her guardian angel.

KS: You mentioned Ishiro Honda, Eiji Tsuburaya, Mario Bava, and Peter Jackson and other filmmakers already. Who would you call inspiration from while making Dream House?

JLC: Bava and especially Dario Argento and maybe to some degree Lucio Fulci. I really love Italian horror and exploitation and think the Italians have a wonderful sensibility when it comes to making films, especially horror movies. Bava and Argento really make all the horror “beautiful.” Brian DePalma and his films were also a huge inspiration on Dream House and as was Scorsese's version of Cape Fear. The Nicky character was also heavily inspired by many Japanese ghosts, particularly Sadako from Ringu, the Snow Woman from Kwaidan and Oiwa from Nobuo Nakagawa's Tokaido Yotsuya Kaidan. The bar scene was also kind of inspired by the scene where Dustin Hoffman meets the townspeople in Straw Dogs.

KS: Do you think it's important to be able to incorporate tributes to and inspiration from your idols? Does it happen on a conscious level?

JLC: Yeah, I love paying homage to movies and filmmakers I like. Sometimes it's conscious, like when I had my friend Dave paint his car like Stuntman Mike's in Death Proof, sometimes it's unconscious, like making Nicky look like a Japanese ghost, which I didn't realize until after I shot the footage.

KS: You worked with Dave Luce before on Little Red Riding Hood. How did he get involved in your films?

JLC: I met Dave at an open mike, the same open mike I met Charli, Jonathan and Tom. He begged me to be in my movie and play the Wolf and I realized he'd be fucking perfect so I let him be in it. I really think he made the movie. He's a musician. His band is called Felonious Drunk. Look him up on MySpace!

KS: Do you have any current projects in the works, or anything in mind for the future?

JLC: Oh yes. I'm shooting a parody commercial for an abortion clinic in two days with some of my new friends from college. I'm also doing live action reenactments of scenes from Neon Genesis Evangelion soon. And about a year from now, I'm doing a reimagining of Alice in Wonderland.

KS: Will anyone from the cast or crew from Little Red or Dream House be involved in those projects?

JLC: Yeah, many members of the cast from both films are returning for Alice. Kate Noyes will be playing the White Rabbit, who will be a girl in a playboy bunny costume on roller skates. Jonathan Daire will be playing the Mad Hatter. Dave will be playing the March Hare. Ryan Murphy, my best friend, will be providing the voice of the Cheshire Cat who will be like a feline version of his Jack White persona. Charli Henley will hopefully be playing the Queen of Hearts, who is a sadistic Japanese noblewoman. Neil Cicierega will also be providing his first score in years. That and I'll be in the film as the Caterpillar and Lewis Carrol himself.

KS: The voice of the Chesire Cat? How will you bring that character to life; as a puppet, animation?

JLC: The Caterpillar will be stop motion animated by Ryan Murphy; the Chesire Cat will be a puppet.

KS: Sounds like an ambitious project. I look forward to seeing it. Having made so many films already, would you give any suggestions to people aspiring to be independent filmmakers?

JLC: My only real advice is just to believe in yourself and keep shooting your films. Even if it sucks at first, keep working on it and learning from it for the next film. Keep watching classic movies and learn cinematic techniques from the masters.

KS: Thank you so much, Jules.

JLC: You're quite welcome Kevin. Thank you for your time.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Timely Procrastinator Intro

Here in The Timely Procrastinator we will discuss life as what it really is; an absolute meaningless spacious void. Which means you’ll find anything and everything - or nothing, depending on the perspective - in this area. But don’t you scratch your head and think about it. It will occur when you least expect it.

Once every time we think of something great this extensive Collective Universe might need to know, we will say it. We will not keep our thoughts to ourselves. We want you all to experience this fantastical world of uniqueness we own. You deserve it.

From now and on to forever,

Don’t & Know
The Timely Procrastinator Team

Welcome to the Burtonites Blog!

Welcome to the Burtonites Blog!

In this blog you will find many wonderful things relating to the lives of Burtonites. If you are unfamiliar with Burtondom, you can find out all about it from the forums at http://www.timburtoncollective.com/ , or by reading this blog.

This blog consists of the combined writings of several Burtonites. The regular columns will include: The Timely Procrastinator, Curiously Sour, The Arts & Entertainments section, Dr. Phibes Rises Again and many more. To find out what these columns will include, just keep checking out our blog. There will also be several individual articles posted to the blog, including an upcoming look at the past, present and future of the Golden Bortons movie competition.

Don't forget to check out the weekly changing Random (But Interesting) Fact, provided to you by Bootler! The fact can be found from the very bottom of the blog.