Bootler"s Yearly Random (But Interesting) Fact

7-Up was origanally named Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Arctic’s Mars Attacks

Our great forum member, Arctic Monkey, wanted to write to the Burtonites Blog about Mars Attacks!, so here it goes, completely unedited, original review from Arctic Monkey. Are you ready?

Arctic’s Mars Attacks


Mostly acclaimed as Burton’s second worst movie and a flop, Mars Attacks was the movie that me made fall really into Burton’s universe. A ode to the old fast canceled Topp’s card and 50’s SF B-movies, Burton opens his big trickbox and let it go on the audience.


Nag nag, nag

Of course there are Alien’s in a SF movie, this ones even beat Alien out the selftiteld movie. Are they good for schocks or thrills? None of both, there just green little stupid things that only live for killing. Why only for killing? God knows why, maybe we can make it up out there Nag, nag, Nag words. But then real powers are the ultra B-film looks and effects. It all looks perfect but Burton didn’t forget to keep the B-film vide alive. Mostly through the already said cliches through some serious weird persons like Jack Nicholson plays a second part as a casino owner how wants to make money out of the Martian’s/Alien’s arrival not knowing there only here to destroy the planet. A other great thing about the movie is to see much well know actors in big or small rolls. Like Jack Black’s appearance as Richie’s brother how get killed, and Michal J Fox in one of his few moments on screen in the mid and later 90’s and of course Mister Tom Jones. In the bigger rolls we see old blackaxption-girl Pam Gier and the later becoming superstar Natahlie Portman. But four actors and make the first part of the movie. Jack Nicholson in a crazy double part as president of the United States and the casino owner. Pierce Brosnan that just did his first james bond movie makes fun out him as British professor how doesn’t know a thing about Alien’s but just try to translate them. And then there is Danny DeVito gambler how want’s to make a deal whit the Alien’s. Glenn Close as cold Ms.President which only thinks for herself.


The change

In the middle of the movie the Alien’s have destroyed most of the adult persons and only Richie, a role by Lukas Haas, and the daughter of the president ,which is played by Natahlie Portman, are alive. Also Danny DeVito is still alive. Richie rescued his grandam from the older people house and is whit Tom Jones and Natahlie Portman’s character trying to find out a way to kill the aliens. A old lp whit jodel-rock(?) blows all the aliens heads up when they hear it and at the end it’s a destroyed city/world whit only Lukas Haas, grandma, Portman and some other on-credit people alive. And then the screen goes black.


Arctic’s critic

Mars attacks is my fourth favorite Burton movie, not a classic tearjerker as Edward or a haunting horror as Hollow but one of the most loving parodies ever made. Of course there are better ones(Top Secret and the Monty Phyton’s movies) but still it hasn’t has one bad or old joke. It’s all-star cast made it still wonder why it wasn’t a major box-office hit, maybe it was a bit to wicked for the cinema people. But it has regain his glory as cult-classic and Hollow was again a box-office success. But if Burton didn’t made this movie it will be never made, and that will hurt my heart.


Nag Nag Nag Part 2

The power of the movie sits in the sadists green fellows mostly labeled in the movie as Martian/aliens. No Ridely Scot Alien alien’s but cartoon like green fellows. Still they have the most horrible laugh ever. The Martians are just like people in the 50’s thought about life in other space. Sadistic green creatures that are only out for killing and destroying planets. Now we know better but lucky a lot of Alien story’s are left. There clothing style is also horrible but just does it for them. They aren’t smatter then people, to be said there lot stupider then most people and have the most playlike guns ever. They aren’t like most haunting alien’s but more some crazy loonaticks escaped from the weirdest zoo in the universe. Maybe people don’t like this kind of Martians to watch at the cinema, mostly they want cool scary aliens but Burton had a major budget and of course his own imagination and thought of these crazy guys. Lucky he did, otherwise it would be just another Hollywood alien movie. It’s quit easy if you see them at the first time to know there planning to destroy then world. And there trying it. There dead also has no shocking of scary thing. There just funny, just like the green fellows. Love live the Martians!

2 comments:

Fuzzy Duck said...

Nice work, Arctic. :) Especially the background info with the Topps cards.

Just D said...

I love it man, very much a labour of love. I'm a huge fan of Mars Attacks! personally, and I can't see why the critics hated it. Another interesting fact: The Mars Attacks cards inspired Glenn Danzig to form the Misfits.